Thursday, August 9, 2018

Id like to thank The Academy....

Okay Im not going to lie or pretend about this.

I havent watched The Oscars in some time.

Ive always wanted to hold an Oscars themed party and have pools where attendees can fill out their brackets for each of the award categories, but unfortunately that has never materialized, mainly because of time and well, seems to me like my friends dont really care to watch The Oscars either.

Which brings me to the point of this entry.
The inclusion of the...hold on...let me see if Im reading this correctly...Popular Film Category


My face after I read that.

So let me get this straight...
In order to boost viewership in what many people call the movies jerking themselves off, the academy figured the best solution was to include what I would assume are the top 8 grossing movies for the year.
I mean if its a popularity contest then that would have to be part of the criteria right?

This concept is stupid in a way that I cant really articulate here in words at the moment because it also appears that these movies could also win BEST PICTURE?

Wait, didnt The Academy expand the best picture category only, what 10 years ago from 5 to 10 so they could include more movies?

And now with this new nonsense we can add at least 5-8 more eligible films?

My sentiments exactly, David.

So we are looking at POTENTIALLY FIFTEEN TO EIGHTEEN movies that can win Best Picture...


Because ratings are down.
Oh and they also want to make the Oscars THREE HOURS LONG.

You want to boost viewership?
Noone wants to stay up past 10 just to see who won best picture and hear the same canned fucking speeches everyone gives.
Theyre going to do what Ive been doing lately.
Waking up the following day and getting the list online, and if theres something worthy to check out, then theres always YouTube.

The Oscars are not must watch TV.
The Oscars are not exciting.
There is no need for this category outside of the hail mary pass play of getting a younger audience to see which Marvel movie won an award.

Theres an awful side effect to this that you know is coming...
With the addition of this category, studios are going to be taking even LESS of a chance on the independent film maker.

Theres no motivation to anymore
If the studio wants to pad its cabinet all it has to do is create something that "hits all the tick marks" and BAM.
Oscar worthy.

Mmm delicious Oscar bait...

Honestly I really hope this bites them in the ass hardcore.
Pandering to a segment of your audience never works out, especially when overall movie watching is down as I understand it, now theres even less of an onus to go out and actually watch and support good movies like Lady Bird and Moonlight.

I love the Marvel movies, I absolutely loved Skyscraper, and these movies are fun, Im not against fun in the least, but do they have a place in The Oscars?

Absolutely not.

If you want to include those kind of movies then create a new category, like Stuntwork, just because a movie makes a fuckton of money, doesnt necessarily mean it deserves an award.

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Walters Week That Was - Day of the Cortado (iced only please)

Its WEEK 2 of Walters Week That Was!
So while my cohosts are out there probably having fun, drinking margaritas, enjoying barbecues and the beach (this is all assumption mind you, I actually have NO IDEA what they are doing while our show is on summer break)
I am out here in the trenches (figuratively), enjoying the cool air conditioning of the the theatre and watching some movies (literally)

Short week for me though what with the incoming holiday (which for those keeping score is my #3 favorite holiday of the year and this requires preparations).

So since youre here and want that sweet sweet satisfaction of your favorite contrarians opinion on what hes seen this

Directed by: Stefano Sollima

Now, if you follow me on twitter (and if youre reading this you probably do, and if not, well get on that Im bloody entertaining) youll remember I had tweeted that I was supposed to be talking about this particular film with The Insession Film Podcast.

However due to circumstances beyond my control, I wasnt able to get in on that action.
That doesnt mean though that you will be deprived though!

So, we need to wind the clock back all the way First Time Watchers episode 304.
When the initial teaser trailer dropped for this one I was immediately against it.
It looked hack to say the least

"Were going to war"
"With who?"


I mean, the whole trailer just looked, so...generic.
The above dialogue.
The pacing.

Then they released a second trailer, one that gave a little more context into what was going on...and that actually changed my mind.
Basically it was an expanded trailer but now I had the realization "oh i get it now! Alejandro is going to be protecting this girl from Graver" and seeing how badass each of these characters were in the first, I was suddenly on board.

I LOVED the first Sicario.
I love Taylor Sheridans work (up until this point the dude was batting 1000 with me)

But this...this is something else.

Fuck me was I bored out of my sugar skull and guns with this film.
So slow.
So mindless.
So all over the place.

I mean, I get what Graver is trying to do in terms of the story (start a war between two rival cartels) but outside of that the story flows like a Family fucking Circus cartoon

Its written so hamhandedly that the the writer and director shouldve just shown up at each theatre to shout at you the underlying theme and point of the movie.

Then theres the ending.

I wouldve been totally ok with things just stopping in the desert.
Were going to keep going with these SLOW AS FUCKING HELL-ICOPTERS for some violent and one sided confrontation with some of the baddies on the road all to show that Graver is actually not as stone cold as we thought but whee happy ending?

Alejandro...Alejandro...what in gods name are you thinking.
How the bloody fuck is this guy going to be a Sicario like you?
You sir, despite your size and general charisma and awesome, you can conceivably blend in and disappear.
This dude?
Tattoos up and down his arms, and on HIS FUCKING FACE?
How the hell is he going to be effective in being a hit man?
Hes going to get picked up and pointed out toot sweet.

WHY OH WHY could they not have made the sensible choice and have Isabel learn from him? (yknow kind of like how Mathilda learns from Leon in THE PROFESSIONAL)
That wouldve made way more sense.
Lets just set up the third movie.

Sheridan you can do better than this.


There is a silver lining to this story though.
As it turns out FX was running the first SICARIO so you best believe I sat my ass on that couch and watched it up.
Sure I couldve popped the bluray in there but I mean, its all the way over there...

But if you want to hear our thoughts on the original you should click this link!

And finally...

Directed by: Jeff Tomsic

When I saw the trailer for this I was in automatically, the premise looked like fun and I wouldnt have to expect too too much as it appeared to be a comedy and if you can get me laughing and having a good time, then its a win.

This movie delivers on a lot of fronts

The fact that they made Jerry Pierces character this superhuman badass is a joke in itself playing on Renners appearances in THE AVENGERS and THE BOURNE LEGACY and those action scenes are actually quite well done in terms of conveying what would normally be a big action set piece and turning it for comedic value.

This movie also has a lot of heart to it because at its core is this group of friends who just want to hang out and have fun for a while, let loose and just be totally themselves before they have to return to their responsibilities. Sure, you could make the "man baby" argument but I dont really think that this applies as for the most part the characters arent acting childish in the least so much as they really want to just enjoy the time they have together and tag Jerry before time expires.

The ending to this movie hits a home run in my book.

Maybe its because from what Ive seen up to this point with "im smarter than my audience" swerves (like HEREDITARY) that this was a great endcap to what was a rather fun ride for the 90 minutes I paid for.

The credit sequence at the end has actual footage of the group playing which also brought a smile to my face.

Is it worth seeing in theatres?
Id say so.
But this overall feels more like a Netflix rental when you just want something fun

Verdict: YAY.

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Walters Week That Was

So while while the podcast may be on summer break, the three of us are still going to be watching movies, and for those who have a penchant for the kind of show we run, I figure what better way to keep in touch with you, our listeners, through some blog posts about what Ive been watching this past week.

I figure that it helps us both out, it gives you something to throw up onto the screen so as to not be caught watching porn, and it gives me a chance to get more writing done that isnt a InSession Film promo script (I mean, I DO love writing those, but thats a different kind of mindset)


Now that Ive set the stage for what these posts are going to be about, without further ado, lets get into it shall we?

Directed by: Leigh Whannell

So when I first saw this trailer, with the BH lead as the opener I was like "Ok its another Blumhouse run of the mill movie, yawn" but then when the trailer got going I was more like "Whaaaat? Show me morrrrre!"
I missed its initial run at the big theatre but luckily for me theres a discount theatre (which I really think HAD to been a porn theatre at one point given the size, number and lay out of the rooms, but thats a digression) so for 3 bucks I sat down and finally got to catch it.
And overall...ITS GOOD.
Its not great or a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination but its pretty well thought out and makes for a good piece of fun sci-fi horror.
What initially drew me to it is the prosthetic guns in the trailer.
This is something Ive talked about with friends and family and have always loved the idea of.
Ive said in a number of conversations that if I ever (god forbid) lost an arm or something Id want to mod my fake arm with a grappling hook or rocket punch or gun for self defense.
Havent seen this concept since DARKMAN when one of Durant's henchmen concealed a submachine gun in a fake leg to take out a rival gang.
Anyway, the villain is a bit telegraphed at the beginning but there is a secondary reveal that really ties it together, and though the ending isnt what would satisfy an audience it makes perfect sense.

Verdict: YAY!

Directed by: Morgan Neville

Once the news broke that there was going to be a Mister Rogers documentary, I was ALL IN from the start. I grew up watching this show and wanted so bad to have a trolley car go through my house.
If you're an emotional type, then buckle up buttercup because I can pretty much guarantee youre going to cry within the first like half hour of this film.
I dont cry or get emotional at movies but they make a connection early on between Fred Rogers and my favorite character of The Land of Make Believe (to this day!) Daniel Tiger and I will willingly admit I got little tight in the chest over it.
Theres a lot of archival footage of Fred Rogers at home (with a 5 OClock Shadow, which looks REALLY ODD on him given most have only seen him clean shaven) and of the early episodes of the show.
Really the man put his whole heart and soul into Mister Rogers Neighborhood and his message.
Which was never about educating children in the traditional sense.
Mister Rogers EMPOWERED children, and aimed to provide them with the knowledge that even though their parents are in charge that they have a voice, and self direction.
Just youre being you.
Its you I like.
And in the case of a post September 11 promo, that when you see scary things on TV you can turn the TV OFF.
This documentary is both a wonderful memory trip and getting to know more about the man behind the iconic childrens show.


Directed by: Steven Spielberg

I remember there being quite a bit of division about this particular film when it was released but cant recall the exact details as to what the issue was.
Anyway, I had no idea what to expect going into this movie outside of the fact that there was going to be a lot of pop culture and movie references and it was based in a virtual world.
I want to preface this by saying something in hopes that someone who has a Hollywood connection...


I worked with autistic children and have a nephew on the spectrum, but if this trend continues (Upgrade, RP1, etc) with a super brilliant but obviously spectrum person, its going to become a trope and that is going to do more harm than good to those who are on the spectrum.

Moving on.
Overall this movie is fun, theres a bunch of easter egg characters throughout the movie if youre watching (Robocop, Ripleys Exo Suit) but one of the things I found really odd was that these kids who Im guessing are supposed be be early 20s are really collectively obsessed with shit that their grandparents wouldve had.
Like someone will make a reference to a game and then immediately a character will blurt out a string of minutiae factoids about this thing and everyones like FUCK YEAH!
I couldnt help but think though throughout the movie and the underlying theme that if it wasnt Spielberg directing this, Paul Veerhoven wouldve been a great choice too.
At one point at the very end of the movie, despite all of the other bananas stuff that goes on, THE POLICE FINALLY SHOW UP.
My wife: "OH! Theres the municipal response, I was wondering if that was even a thing in this world"
And shes right.
There are posters for the antagonist group IOI like theyre the military or something so its confusing as to what exactly the real world is like.
Tye Sheridans character lives in a community of stacked mobile homes, while Olivia Cooke lives in a tent, in a building...near a farmers market?
Anyway overall this movie is okay.
It has its fun moments but its pretty by the numbers.

Verdict: YAY

And now...dessert!

Directed by: JA Bayona

I was not a fan of the first JURASSIC WORLD entry when it hit theatres in 2015. I think though the biggest issue was my mindset toward what I was EXPECTING, and what I GOT.
Because seeing the trailers for this movie early on, I was like, YUP. ALL IN. GIMME.
Now this was the same feeling I got toward the 2015 release but in this case the marketing team is SHOWING me what to expect.
But going into this I expected only one thing out of it.
Give me a good time, give me something to enjoy, Im buckled in for terrible decisions and dino-nonsense.
And I got...most of that.
Its interesting, for the most part the characters are actually thinking clearly.
The dinosaurs should be left to die on the island.
HOWEVER we wouldnt have a movie if we didnt try and so off we go with dinoactivist Claire Dearing and her band of rogues as they go off to get the creatures off the island and to a sanctuary where no humans will go.
LIFE (or in this case the villain) FINDS A WAY
From there we are treated to what breaks down to a haunted house movie
Except the house is Wayne Manor
And the ghost is a super deadly dinosaur (because NOONE HAS LEARNED ANYTHING SINCE THE PARK FIRST OPENED IN 1993!!!!)
But you know what?
I had a great time with this one.
Its fun.
Its kind of like a more advanced version of SHARKNADO.
And thats a good thing.
(by the way, this poster totally fucks.)


Wednesday, November 16, 2016

FTW237 - Arrival

In which our intrepid trio are down one since Hermano decided to travel into the future (or was it the past) but we still decided to discuss one of our most anticipated films of the year. Joining us on his bi-monthly expedition out of the wilderness of Vermont is Mark Hurne of the Criterion Close-Up Podcast. Please listen to his show on iTunes and follow Mark on twitter @MarkHurne.  
Yay/Nay (3:29) Downfall • Under The Shadow • The Crossing Guard • Friday The 13th Part 7: The New Blood • Sleepaway Camp •  
Mark's Criterion 101 (15:59) The Before Trilogy official announcement • • Babette's Feast • Fanny and Alexander • The Phantom Carriage • The Apu Trilogy •  
Main Review (31:15)  
Spoilers (54:45)  
Email: • Twitter: @1sttimewatchers • Tumblr: • Back Catalogue:  

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

FTW236 - Hacksaw Ridge

In which our intrepid trio is once again down a man since Hermano has decided to conscientiously object to podcasts. However, Barry from the True Bromance Film Podcast joins us to give some much needed credibility to our show.  Please follow him on twitter @TruBromanceCast and listen to his show on iTunes. 
Yay/Nay (4:24) 13th • Doctor Strange • Breaking Bad • PopStar: Never Stop Never Stopping • Friday The 13th Part VI • Swiss Army Man • Nightmare City •  
Trailer Hitches (21:37) Nocturnal Animals • The Great Wall • Wonder Woman •  
Main Review (33:02)  
Outro/Despondent Pre-Show (1:08:51)  
Email: • Twitter: @1sttimewatchers • Tumblr: • Back Catalogue:  

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Bonus Episode - Doctor Strange

In which our intrepid trio is down one since Hermano was sucked into an interdimensional portal. But joining us for this episode is Bubbawheat of the FilmWhys Podcast. Please visit his site, listen to his show on iTunes, and follow him on twitter @Bubbawheat.   
Email: • Twitter: @1sttimewatchers • Tumblr: • Back Catalogue:  

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

FTW235 - Fantastic Planet (1973)

In which our intrepid trio are down one since Hermano has been abducted by big blue beings to be kept as a furry pet. However, joining us is Emily Mackay from Please follow Emily on twitter @emilymackay1138.  
Yay/Nay (6:20) Friends • The Office • Drag Me To Hell • Evil Dead 2 • Don't Breathe • Stranger Things • One Man Punch • Friday The 13th Part IV & V • Terminator Genisys • Bullitt •  
Movie Battle Royale (21:37)  
Main Review (29:55)  
Outro/Outtakes (54:30)  
Email: • Twitter: @1sttimewatchers • Tumblr: • Back Catalogue: